#but anyways this parallel made me tear up a bit :')

[thefrsers]

requested by @ashmarie1687: Broger visiting Lallybroch in 7.05 + flashback of Lallybroch in 1.12 with JamieClaire welcoming the tennants comparing the grounds from 1743 to 1980

[ezdotjpg]

do you have any directors commentary on the recent two updates? 👉👈 the color palette is absolutely lovely! and and and WOLF!! :DD

OH BOY DO I

In the original draft of this chapter, Wolf stays a, uh, wolf until like the 4th update. Instead of actually managing to get his teeth on the master sword, Loft threw him off immediately. The Deku Tree still said the line about all three of them being heroes and Slate is like. “Including the fucking dog????!” I thought it was very funny but a) it made some scenes later down the line a huge pain and b) I was tired of drawing wolves ALDKDKD

You may have noticed Wolf’s scowling in the bg of almost every panel. That’s kind of just his face, but also right now my guy is nursing the world’s biggest migraine from popping the shadow crystal out of his skull. He can stay wolfmode for a while, but it’s still technically a curse. It’s not consequence free, and there’s an upper limit for how long he can spend in that form. Anyway, cut him some slack if he’s a little prickly for a bit.

There were a lot of comments about Loft being strong enough to toss a wolf over his head lol. My hc is that he’s one of, if not the strongest Link sans any magic items like power bracelets or gauntlets. He’s actually not even as strong now as he was during his quest. Wolf maybe has him beat now, but he can still get tossed lolol

It might seem like Slate’s really taken everything that happened at the end of ch1 in stride, but don’t worry. He’s simmering. Loft is grateful for the opportunity to get distracted by something else. Maybe that’s why he was so willing to approach the wild animal he’s never seen before lol

This maybe goes without saying based on the events of the last two updates, but Slate never had wolf link with him during the events of botw. He doesn’t recognize Wolf.

I’m really glad ppl seem to be liking the colors bc I struggled with them so hard on both updates 🫠literally days of me turning to my roommate and going “I think I’ve never made anything worse” and them going “it looks good stop being dramatic” WKDJDK I have this thing where if I had an idea in my head for what an update should look like, and what I produce doesn’t meet it somehow, I start seeing in fucking. shrimp colors. Posting always gives me a confidence boost back lol.

these pages were cursed in general bc like. this doesn’t usually happen but I think I redrew every panel in this update at least 5 times each. that’s part of why it ended up being late SKDJF

I REALLY like the idea of being in the presence of the Triforce and having access to its power being this eldritch, divinely horrifying experience. The sort of thing that is impossible to explain to anyone and also haunts you forever. Loft spends a lot of time actively trying not to think about the Triforce. Just, like, remember that about him.

Like how tears in reality are shown through holes in the literal comic panels, I tried to show the concept of reality bending in the form of a panel stretching and twisting like a ribbon ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ I hope that came across. Triforce lore varies a bit from game to game, but I’ve come up with my own internal logic for bonus links that combines all the ideas I like lolol. We’ll learn more about it in due time!

I also really like this parallel :D I intentionally set up the panels so past and present loft would line up like this. i love getting to draw flashback links it’s so fun to think of ways to convey what they used to be like, and how their quests might have gone for them. Past Loft’s not having a great time by the time he reaches this point lol

I think that’s all I’ve got for now. Thanks for asking :D

[foundtherightwords]

🤫🍕🐈 "AQPD1" thoughts 🤫🍕🐈

I just got back from the movie, and here are my rambling thoughts (below the cut to avoid spoilers as usual.)

I have to preface by saying that I'm not a huge fan of the Quiet Place franchise or anything - I quite enjoyed the first movie and thought it was a really clever concept, but I didn't think it needed a second one at all. In a way, that gave me the perfect mindset to watch this because I had very few expectations of it (other than seeing Joe on the big screen for the first time!)

First of all, this is more of an apocalyptic thriller/monster movie for me than a horror. I was tense, but I was never scared. But that's OK because I wasn't scared by the first two movies either.

Second, this is a lot more character-driven than the first two movies. All the monster stuff only serves as a backdrop to explore Sam and Eric's emotional journeys as they navigate this end-of-the-world scenario. Fans of the franchise and horror movies may want more of the monster, but I think it has a good balance between drama and horror.

In fact, I wish the movie delved even more deeply into the characters. Sam has a fairly solid arc, and I like that her goal is so simple and relatable - it's the end of the world and she's dying anyway, so let's just get pizza. Eric is such a sweet puppy, but we know next to nothing about him (the articles aren't lying when they describe him as "a man of mystery"!) and I find it kind of weakens his connection with Sam a bit. I remember that in an early screening of the movie, Eric was suicidal because his father rejected him. I wish they'd kept that, because it both paralleled and contrasted nicely with Sam's own journey, and it would make their friendship and the ending even more powerful. There is also a hint that Eric has a fear of water (either because of his encounter with the monsters or something in his past), but it's never explained, which makes the ending a bit rushed to me.

Still, I enjoyed the movie and was ecstatic to see Joe on the big screen. Eric has one hell of a character entrance, and I totally did this when he appeared:

Some more random thoughts:

Frodo is too darned adorable. Between him and Eric, I spent most of the movie going "aww" or squealing.

The pizza/card trick scene is so, so sweet and made me tear up. My headcanon is that Eric wants to become a magician but his dad forces him to study law.

They cut out the stuff about Eric's shoes!!! There is only a very brief moment where Sam gives him the Reeboks to change into, but otherwise it's not addressed at all. I guess it's for pacing/time, but it's a shame.

In fact, there are a lot of scenes/moments from the trailers that are not in the movie. They're not important, but it's kind of annoying.

It's so funny that in the red carpet interviews, everybody was saying Alex Wolff would be the first of the cast to die... and his character IS the first to die!

The buzzcut has grown on me immensely, but seeing his curls on the big screen made me miss Joe's hair (especially in the earlier scenes, where it's all floppy and looks so cute.)

Anyway, that's it for now. Oh and I wanted to get one of those flyers/posters, but my theater didn't have any! These would have to do for now (I may have to go to a different theater to watch the movie again and see if they have a poster I can take home):

[raconteur-wanpi]

ONE PIECE 1126

Finally found the time to talk about this one. I already talked a bit about a certain character in an earlier post, but here we go into the full thing.

OK, starting off with where we left with Yamato in the cover stories -yep, it seems people in Wano are getting kidnapped and/or going missing. Last chapter we saw Minamoto the carpenter has disappeared as well. Honestly, as for who is doing the kidnappings, there's actually plenty of candidates. I think most of, if not all of the Beast Pirates were dealt with, so we might be dealing with somebody else. IIRC, the Big Mom pirates seem to have returned to Tottoland without their mother (we see Smoothie back with her siblings watching Vegapunk's message in Egghead, and she was leading the ship). It could be Perospero if he's alive somehow, but I think it'd be an interesting twist if it turned out to be something like the wild giant boar that Oden slayed back in the day, thus giving Yamato the chance to fulfill his role as a parallel to him or something. Who knows! We still don't know Kaidou and Linlin's fates, so Wano is a location to keep an eye out on for sure.

Anyway, getting in the chapter, it's so nice to see more of the classic Strawhat party celebration! Seeing them all together chilling like this is always one of the best parts. My circle has already plastered my timeline with Usopp and Sanji being inseparable again, of course. My foils meta keeps being fulfilled, let's see if Usopp ends up returning his favor and his words to him if this arc ends up mirroring Enies Lobby.

Hey what if I cried. I'm not going to sugarcoat it: I teared up like a child at this. They finally got to see the sky and the sun together, they got to sail together!!!!!!! Nobody talk to me, I think I will never recover after this page. God, if Kuma dies I'm going to be devastated. The theories around the number-named devil fruits going to the strawhats have destroyed me, and the Nikyu-Nikyu fruit being the last possible combination of numbers and the right shape for the tangerines is.... worrying me.

Bartooooo!!!! He is the GOAT of this chapter. He was already one of my absolute favorite One Piece characters, but this man's willingness to die on the spot for Luffy just cemented him even higher on the list. Thank god it was a fake-out! Everything's gonna be fine, right? Haha? Right?

Aaand there it is. Wow. OK. I cannot lie this caught me so off guard I am still reeling from it. This, is the part I made an earlier post about. Yasopp, of his own accord, after Shanks decided to spare the Barto Club and even seemed to be charmed by them, chose to shot them down. Shanks clearly didn't give the order, and it seems Yasopp might have been going for the kill, too. Perhaps he was just trying to destroy the ship, but seeing that explosion... Not to mention the narrator says after this "it is unknown if there were any survivors". This is such a merciless act from him. And for me, the reading I have of it is that it's setup by Oda for us to start feeling (even more) conflicted about his character, and this is going to be relevant going forward in Elbaf as an Usopp arc. This is a reminder of how different he is from him, he brutally shot down the Barto Club knowing well they are his son's allies and friends, with no remorse. Usopp has shown mercy and compassion most of any strawhat, I think he would be mortified by this. I wonder if this begins the setup of Usopp realizing he has put his father on a pedestal, and the idealized image of him in his head doesn't reflect reality. A lot of people didn't like Yasopp already, but this is going to put him on a looooot of fans' shitlist. Anyway, if Barto is dead I am going to jump into the ocean. Fingers crossed harder than his when he puts up his barriers.

Going back to the Blackbeard pirates; Garp's alive!!!! It seems that Kuzan couldn't take his life after all. He says "he survived", but in my eyes, he definitely chose to spare him, perhaps even unconsciously.

PUDDING CAMEO!!!!!!! MY SPECIALEST GIRLIE IN THE WORLD!!! Oh my god I'm glad she's still OK. Pudding get him. Bite him. Scratch him, do something, get his ass. Stay away from her get a joooooob. Jokes aside, I am curious about what the Big Mom pirates are planing; between their mother being Put In the Soup in Wano (status unknown), their eldest brother being well... status unknown, and Pudding getting kidnapped, they have too much going on on their plate, and I do wonder which thing they are trying to deal with first. I am not jealous of the mess poor Katakuri has to deal with right now, assuming he has been put in charge at the moment. I like to imagine he is definitely planning for ways to get Pudding back; his siblings are the most important thing in the world to him, after all.

Sigh. Caribou is still here too. For some reason. Like some sort of cockroach that just won't croak. The information he has on not one, but two ancient weapons is very concerning, and the fact he is about to deliver it to Teach of all people is definitely gonna be a big, terrifying development.

This isn't plot or anything but please look at this image of tiny Bonney holding on to Jinbe's robes. Her collection of big dads grows ever steady. That is all.

And here is our conclusion! The group of strawhats that was on the Sunny has disappeared together with it, while the rest of the crew and the giants where knocked out from the booze. They wake up looking for them and the Sunny all baffled. It seems Jinbe, Robin and Franky are the only strawhats left with the giants, although I saw some people say Brook might be with them as well. Nami, who was with those missing, wakes up in Elbaf-style garb already, inside some sort of toy-lego-house... I wonder if this means our missing strawhats have been kidnapped by another group of giants!? A toy-like dollhouse is where you'd put a tiny person in, isn't it? Dorry and Broggy and their crew said that Elbaf is still days away, even with their ship's speed, so could someone from there have somehow hijacked them in the middle of the journey? Could it be Loki himself? I guess we have to wait to find out!

[ai-the-broccoli]

lawlight, told through taylor swift songs: a non-exhaustive list

no really, why do so many taylor swift songs fit Death Note (and sometimes especially Light and lawlight) so perfectly?

many others have already made pretty good posts on this topic before, but the parallels are truly kinda crazy, so here's my take on it. the rankings within each tier are not super fixed or meaningful, like honestly everything within each tier is pretty much the same degree of fitting to me.

(yes, I double-checked basically her entire discography for this. no, I still don't think this is a fully comprehensive list.)

Tier S - every single line is a fit

1. my tears ricochet (<- category C: "I Knew You'd Miss Me Once The Thrill Expired")

post L's death lawlight, from L's perspective: the song. nearly every line fits what the hell man. one of my favourites here

-> Full Lyrics

2. hoax (<- category C: "I Knew You'd Miss Me Once The Thrill Expired")

@kiyomitakada pointed this out and... yeah, every single line does fit! it's very lawlight from Light's perspective.

-> Full Lyrics

Tier A - the whole song fits well

3. Blank Space (<- category A: "Let the Games Begin")

we probably all know this one lol. while the idea that it was actually written as inspired by DN is a myth, it very much does fit.

-> Full Lyrics

and GOD did the MV imagery not help. like, I mean...

the MV uses a colour scheme of red/blue/black/white/green-ish, I think, which doesn't NOT look like the first OP of Death Note anime to say the least.

apple imagery. yeah. the above is literally something Light does in said OP. both song videos have close-up shot of biting a very red apple.

the character Taylor Swift plays in this video (who is supposed to be a satirical caricature based on media perception of her as a crazy obsessive jealous 'serial dater' women iirc) is depicted doing a lot of voodoo to torture her lover.

in one scene she seems to be in a great and dramatic frenzy with mixed emotions (sadness, desperation, manic, anger, hate, etc.) over the boyfriend character's... unconscious body? I'm not super sure if it's supposed to be unconscious. but it's like this:

and then after a while of this, we see a shot of her sneakily winking at the camera. but anyway so yeah this entire part weirdly actually reminded me of L's death scene for some reason lol

at the end of the MV there's a short B-T-S trivia clip. there's a freaking black notebook there:

it's titled "My True Loves" and the content has nothing to do with lawlight, because it just contains pictures of her cats... is what I'd say, but actually, if you stretch it a bit, there's a comparison to be made about the fact that J-Drama Light Yagami's actor is a cat lover who actually has a cat named L

anyway this isn't exactly a T-pose but it's not too far from one either

I think I've made my point.

4. Getaway Car (<- category B: ''Now This is An Open/Shut Case")

this is very the end of the Yotsuba arc to me, specifically from while they are catching Higuchi to after they catch him and Light regains his memories. man...

-> Full Lyrics

Tier B - largely/mostly fitting

category A: "Let the Games Begin"

the mind games begin.

1. Ready For It

Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him Wondered how many girls he had loved and left haunted But if he's a ghost, then I can be a phantom Holdin' him for ransom, some Some boys are tryin' too hard, he don't try at all though Younger than my exes, but he act like such a man, so I see nothing better, I keep him forever Like a vendetta-ta

and

Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me Stealing hearts and running off and never sayin' sorry But if I'm a thief, then he can join the heist, and We'll move to an island, and And he can be my jailer, Burton to this Taylor Every love I've known in comparison is a failure I forget their names now, I'm so very tame now Never be the same now, now

+ the repetition of "Let the games begin". pretty self-explanatory

2. LWYMMD

I've got a list of names and yours is in red, underlined I check it once, then I check it twice, oh!

...and more. also you know how she T-poses at the end of the bridge in the MV, as she stands over many many other past version of herself?

very lightcore pose. (and this isn't even to mention how she kicks off other, "weaker" versions of herself off the giant T in the same scene, which is... arguably also a symbolic parallel to when Light screams in the helicopter as he regains his memory, if you see it that way.)

3. cowboy like me

And the tennis court was covered up With some tent-like thing And you asked me to dance But I said, "Dancin' is a dangerous game."

Oh, I thought This is gonna be one of those things Now I know I'm never gonna love again

I've got some tricks up my sleeve Takes one to know one You're a cowboy like me

this one even has the freaking tennis mention of all things it could've included

4. Mastermind

So I told you none of it was accidental And the first night that you saw me, nothing was gonna stop me I laid the groundwork and then saw a wide smirk On your face, you knew the entire time You knew that I'm a mastermind And now you're mine Yeah, all you did was smile 'Cause I'm a mastermind

honestly though, this one is more like the perfect Kaguya-sama Love is War Kaguya/Miyuki song. every single line fits them perfectly. but since lawlight also do mind games and all, the song also can be seen through a lawlight lens, although I maintain that it is still the perfect kaguprez song instead of a fully lawlight one.

5. Suburban Legends

I had the fantasy that maybe our mismatched star signs Would surprise the whole school When I ended up back at our class reunion Walking in with you You'd be more than a chapter in my old diaries With the pages ripped out I am standing in a 1950s gymnasium And I can still see you now

I didn't come here to make friends We were born to be suburban legends When you hold me, it holds me together And you kiss me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever

I know that you still remember We were born to be national treasures When you told me we'd get back together And you kissed me in a way that's gonna screw me up forever

idk the vibes here kind of make me think of the entrance ceremony scene lol

category B: ''Now This is An Open/Shut Case"

the Kira investigation.

1. I Can See You

I can see you in your suit and your necktie Passed me a note saying, "Meet me tonight" Then we kissed and you know I won't ever tell, yeah And I could see you being my addiction You can see me as a secret mission Hide away and I will start behaving myself

the MV is important context here again, because actually, the official video for this love song depicts one person watching/"seeing" another person through - guess what - surveillance cameras. in reference to the title which is also a line repeated in the chorus. so that explains it I think. also it's implied to be about a workplace relationship

2. I Think He Knows

He got that boyish look that I like in a man I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans It's like I'm 17, nobody understands No one understands

[...]

He got that boyish look that I like in a man I am an architect, I'm drawing up the plans He's so obsessed with me and, boy, I understand Boy, I understand

Light's pov. the title line "I think he knows" keeps getting repeated in the song which if you view it through a lawlight lens that might be about Kira lol

3. willow

Now this is an open/shut case I guess I should've known from the look on your face Every bait-and-switch was a work of art

The more that you say, the less I know Wherever you stray, I follow I'm begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans, that's my man You know that my train could take you home Anywhere else is hollow I'm begging for you to take my hand Wreck my plans, that's my man

L pov-ish.

4. The Tortured Poets Department

You're in self-sabotage mode, throwing spikes down on the road But I've seen this episode and still loved the show Who else decodes you?

And who's gonna hold you like me? And who's gonna know you, if not me?

and also:

Everyone we know understands why it's meant to be 'Cause we're crazy So tell me Who else is gonna know me?

...as well as more lines in the song that expresses the same sentiments, like: Who's gonna hold you? Gonna know you? Gonna troll you?

in any case, "who else decodes you?" is definitely a lawlight thesis. imo. in fact I may have even actually started an essay on it in fic format with that thesis. or not? who knows! maybe one day you'll see...

anyway, this song is post-Yotsuba arc-ish to me, sort of.

category C: "I Knew You'd Miss Me Once The Thrill Expired"

L's death and Light's grieving, eventually.

5. Haunted

from Light's pov, especially in anime canon probably.

12. My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys

My boy only breaks his favorite toys, toys, oh I'm queen of sand castles he destroys, oh, oh 'Cause it fit too right Puzzle pieces in the dead of night I should've known it was a matter of time Oh, oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys, oh, oh-oh-oh

[...]

My boy only breaks his favorite toys, toys, oh I'm queen of sand castles he destroys, oh, oh 'Cause I knew too much There was danger in the heat of my touch He saw forever so he smashed it up Oh, oh, my boy only breaks his favorite toys, oh, oh-oh-oh

which is quite fitting. moreover, there's this...

He was my best friend Down at the sandlot I felt more when we played pretend Than with all the Kens

...as well as the the original version below:

He was my best friend and that was the worst part I felt more then, in brief moments Than with all the Kens

L's pov. the "Kens" mention here is kinda like Light apparently having like 6 girlfriends in college and not caring about any of them despite being significantly bad at getting over L etc etc I think

8. Hits Different

I actually didn't think of this song in association with lawlight at all before I saw @selfdigestion bringing up the connection, and.... YEAH this is pretty lawlight-coded as well

I trace the evidence, make it make some sense Why the wound is still bleedin' You were the one that I loved Don't need another metaphor, it's simple enough A wrinkle in time like the crease by your eyes This is why they shouldn't kill off the main guy Dreams of your hair and your stare and sense of belief In the good in the world, you once believed in me And I felt you and I held you for a while Bet I could still melt your world Argumentative, antithetical dream girl

and also:

I used to switch out these Kens, I'd just ghost Rip the band-aid off and skip town like an asshole outlaw Freedom felt like summer then on the coast Now the sun burns my heart and the sand hurts my feelings

which is what the song is overall about. (there sure are a lot of Light pov songs in this category man)

and on the topic of "Kens", as it is with the previous time song, in Light's case it makes me again think of all his college girlfriends that he doesn't care about. I'm not going to comment too much on the gender-reverse implications this has for the narrator "I" in the song, but I would think that the original lyrics "bet I could still melt your world / argumentative, antithetical dream girl" with echoing repetitions on the phrase "dream girl" should've already done it for me. anyway. moving on.

10. Would've, Could've, Should've

If you never touched me I would've Gone along with the righteous If I never blushed then they could've Never whispered about this And if you never saved me from boredom I could've gone on as I was

[...]

God rest my soul I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close Stained glass windows in my mind I regret you all the time I can't let this go I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the time

I don't know how to explain this one, but it's... something. I think it only makes more sense as a lawlight song if you want to place emphasis on the age/maturity difference angle, although even without that it would still partly fit.

17. Guilty as Sin?

My boredom's bone-deep This cage was once just fine Am I allowed to cry?

I dream of cracking locks Throwing my life to the wolves or the ocean rocks Crashing into him tonight, he's a paradox I'm seeing visions, am I bad? Or mad? Or wise?

This, plus the fact that it uses similar imagery (dying in a hedge maze, crashing over graves, etc.) as Saltburn (2023), which... has that infamous grave scene that reminded every Death Note fan watching it of Light Yagami on L's grave.

13. cardigan

A friend to all is a friend to none Chase two girls, lose the one When you are young, they assume you know nothing

[...]

But I knew you'd linger like a tattoo kiss I knew you'd haunt all of my what-ifs The smell of smoke would hang around this long 'Cause I knew everything when I was young I knew I'd curse you for the longest time Chasing shadows in the grocery line I knew you'd miss me once the thrill expired And you'd be standing in my front porch light And I knew you'd come back to me You'd come back to me And you'd come back to me And you'd come back

yet another post-L's death lawlight song, this time with L+Light switching povs. with the final line I think of the anime scene when Light sees a vision/ghost/whatever it is of L on the stairs:

And when I felt like I was an old cardigan under someone's bed You put me on and said I was your favorite

Tier D - honourable mentions

The Prophecy

I got cursed like Eve got bitten Oh, was it punishment?

lightcoreTM

False God

self-explanatory title

You Are In Love

You kiss on sidewalks, you fight then you talk One night, he wakes, strange look on his face Pauses, then says, "You're my best friend" And you knew what it was, he is in love

Mr. Perfectly Fine

So dignified in your well-pressed suit So strategized, all the eyes on you Sashay away to your seat It's the best seat, in the best room Oh, he's so smug, Mr. "Always wins" So far above me in every sense So far above feeling anything

lightcore #2

You're Losing Me

doesn't fit that well lyric-wise, but it sure has got a heartbeat sound effect (sampled with her own I believe) in it referencing the stopping of a heart that sounds a lot like the one used to signal cardiac arrest in Death Note anime.

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived

Were you sent by someone Who wanted me dead? Did you sleep with a gun underneath our bed? Were you writing a book? Were you a sleeper cell spy? In fifty years will all this be declassified? And you'll confess why you did it And I'll say, "Good riddance" 'Cause it wasn't sexy once it wasn't forbidden I would've died for your sins Instead I just died inside And you deserve prison, but you won't get time You'll slide into inboxes and slip through the bars You crashed my party and your rental car You said normal girls were "boring" But you were gone by the morning You kicked out the stage lights, but you're still performing And in plain sight you hid But you are what you did And I'll forget you, but I'll never forgive The smallest man who ever lived

lightcore #3

Anti-Hero

I'll stare directly at the sun, but never in the mirror

lightcore #4

Clara Bow

"The crown is stained, but you're the real queen Flesh and blood amongst war machines You're the new God we're worshipping Promise to be dazzling"

there is a joke I can make here about how "dazzling" is "kira-kira" in Japanese

lightcore #5

(man that's a lot of lightcore songs)

Other songs

...that grieve the loss of a lover,

or mentions a lover being a friend/not a friend;

songs with ghost/death/grave/tomb/cemetery imagery,

songs where the self or the lover is compared to God or a god,

songs that mention a difference in age or has the lover looking down on the narrator's maturity (e.g. illicit affairs, All Too Well),

songs where love is characterized as a game of cat and mouse;

and so on.

taylor swift seems to write about those motifs a lot, so there really are a lot of other examples to pull.

and that concludes my list, I think. there may actually be even more comparisons if you look into her album liner notes and such, but this is what I've got for now

[catboybiologist]

Are you comfortable with questions about your journey to HRT?

Like, mentally how you took the leap of faith from femboy to needing something more / different. Asking for, uh, *a friend*, yeah 👀

Holy shit, this got long. This springboarded me into a massive writing about how my life influenced my personal gender philosophy, and is probably more than you bargained for. But I hope it's helpful in some way! I actually had a similar conversation recently with an NB, not on HRT friend of mine. What's the jump that makes you want to do HRT?

I don't think my experience parallels that of a lot of people's - everyone's is unique. But I do think there are good takeaways from my thoughts on this. Now that I have an Adderall prescription and my quarter is about to end, I've started writing some kind of more cited and developed essay or video essay, but that's random future stuff. This post itself is gonna be a little rambling, and a little personal. Sorry!

Vaguely, I think that the *push* to start HRT was a distinct force from tearing down the internal barriers associated with HRT, if that makes any sense. For many people, I think they have some sense of a mild preference of the gender they would "want" to be, but it doesn't bother them enough to actually break down the barriers to transition. For me, breaking those barriers, both internal and external, was as important as the motivations to transition themselves.

One of the major barriers in people's heads, often without them realizing it, is some kind of inherent belief in the "sanctity" of their body. For many people, "permanent changes" are terrifying, "unnatural", and even if they don't have medical risks, intrinsically *feel* like a medical risk they're taking on some level. It's an offshoot of purity culture in a weird way- it's the same root as a fear of psychiatric medicine making you "not you". Much of this is intrinsically religious, but a lot is actually not. I had a little bit of this growing up. Being raised atheist certainly helped in this regard, even though it was still a queerphobic slavic atheism.

The tiny bit of this I did have was sanctity of my mind, which internally, I still viewed as a separate entity from my body. This was 100% incited by crushing academic pressure, which influenced how I think and my own morality in a lot of unexpected ways. I grew up in a kind of infamously high pressure education area. It sounds unrelated, but it's really not. My mind, academics, and thinking kind of got put on a pedestal on my mind. My personal image of myself was basically a detached orb of thoughts and public speaking. I had 0 connection to my body. But since my mind was everything, both psychiatric medication and HRT were these vile things that could alter how I think and my mood! Gasp!

The final, crushing blow to both of these mentalities was studying biology. And WOW there's so much I could say about how studying biology has influenced how I think about this idea, which I want to talk about a lot more outside of the scope of just a tumblr post. But to summarize- it's not even about finding a biological "reason" for transness. It's about how I saw a living thing as a detailed, dynamic, intricate, constantly changing system that is as much a function of its environment as it is any intrinsic factors. And this includes the mind. So since I'm a shambling mass of chemicals anyways..... Why not be a shambling mass of slightly different chemicals?

The "detached orb" image isn't entirely accurate, though. Because, from an early age, I did have a self image that made me happy. And it was a female one. I shoved this deeply out of my mind in shame, leaving behind the "orb". This was my "push", as I called it before. In addition to a weird separation between my mind and my body, an additional factor contributed to my detachment- a growing distress around developing male traits during puberty, which coincided in the worst ways with academic pressure during teen and preteen years. Looking back, I now recognize this as dysphoria. I don't think my dysphoria was ever as extreme as many other people. But this is why I'm emphasizing taking down barriers as much as the weight of dysphoria itself. It has always been easy to distract from my dysphoria, but it's always been my "resting state" without realizing it.

Linked a bit to the second point is also how I felt shame about exploring any aspect of my life other than academic and professional achievement. Being raised in a high pressure environment means that any exploration of my queer identity felt like a distraction from the "real" things I should be focusing on. The final thing that tore this down, which I don't recommend for ANYONE, was an almost traumatic set of events during the pandemic/my masters degree that made me have a wake up call. I wasn't structuring anything in my life for my own happiness. Going through that made me realize I was going to continue being miserable unless I changed that. So... I started taking the idea of transitioning to actually work on my happiness very seriously.

Being a femboy was actually how I tried to reconcile these things in my head. It was my attempt to "compartmentalize"- allow myself to gently indulge in gender nonconformity and the happiness associated with it, while still not making the "commitment" to fully transition. It helps that most of my existence as a femboy was crossdressing during the height of the pandemic- spending hours on analysis and writing while living alone during my MS, wearing femme outfits while I did it. And of course, taking pics to kick off this whole online persona. I also kind of liked the idea of cis gender nonconformity as a concept, and still do. I love how femboys fuck with gender, and I wanted a slice of that for myself. It wasn't enough long term, and my new commitment to happiness overcame my desire to compartmentalize.

The final barriers were practical. By the end of my masters in 2022, I knew I wanted to transition, I just needed to get my social and financial shit together. Cue moving to my PhD university, becoming active in the queer community here, having an accepting professional environment... and yeah. Here I am. Still gotta socially transition outside of my queer circles, but now, I even have a plan for that. I still got a long way to go, but for the first time, I feel like I'm going in the right direction. And I'm very, very happy.

A lot of this is not applicable to everyone. It's mostly my personal experience. But if there is one thing that I think should apply to everyone here, it's this: kill bioessentialism in your mind. Kill the concept of complete sanctity of your mind and body. Break the barriers and then let yourself move freely across the new landscape you've opened up. At the very least, you'll come out with a more healthy relationship with your cis identity. And at best, you'll find a new part of you that needed to be found.

The other thing I think is broadly applicable is this: when initially figuring things out, stop thinking about what you "are", and start thinking about what you want. Would it make you happy to grow breasts, curves, have a femme face, estrogen regulated emotions, and other transfemme HRT changes? Because those are the actual, physical effects of HRT. If the answer is yes, start it. There's no reason not to. Your identity can come later. You deserve to be happy *for the explicit purpose of being happy*. You don't need to validate that desire through some other random factor.

This got WAAAYYYY too long, but if you have any questions, please, please ask!!!!

[humbledragon669]

S2E2 - The Clue Write Up P2 - London (Present Day) post credits up to the departure of Michael et al

I’ll jump straight in, seeing as that’s what happens in this episode as soon as the credits are finished, and I have a couple of things of note about this short scene in the record shop. Let’s have a little look at the background music first, shall we? Just in case you weren’t aware, it’s a Dusty Springfield song called “You Don’t Have to Say You Love Me”, and it’s really the lyrics to the first verse that have my interest:

When I said I needed you You said you would always stay It wasn't me who changed but you and now you've gone away Don't you see that now you've gone And I'm left here on my own That I have to follow you and beg you to come home

There’s something desperately heartbreaking (to me anyway) about these lyrics if you take them as potential foreshadowing of the Final 15. I feel like that might be a bit of a reach, though that’s largely to do with where it’s been placed in the timeline, and that we don’t really hear those lyrics very well unless we’re really paying attention. I think it’s more likely a nod to the way Maggie is feeling at that point in time, though the lyrics for the second verse are perhaps more appropriate for that:

You don't have to say you love me, just be close at hand You don't have to stay forever, I will understand Believe me, believe me, I can't help but love you But believe me, I'll never tie you down Left alone with just a memory Life seems dead and so unreal All that's left is loneliness, there's nothing left to feel

It’s not just the lyrics that make me feel that this subtext isn’t (for once) driven towards the hero couple. This particular verse kicks in good and proper (with a tiny uplift in volume so that we can make those lyrics out) exactly when we get a close up shot of Nina across the road, as Maggie is explaining her reason for not crying. And whilst we’re on the subject of crying, we’ve heard a very similar version of a snippet of this conversation before:

There are quite a few similarities between these two conversations - a male character observing a female one crying on their own territory, both of whom openly acknowledge that they have been crying, and accepting the social taboo that holds, whilst the male character appears unaware that acknowledging tears can cause a breaching of that same social taboo. With all that said, I don’t know what purpose that mirroring serves. I was asked not so long ago if I have ever noticed parallels between episodes in this very fashion, but this particular parallel ends with the themes - the timing of both conversations are in different episodes of each season and at different times in each episode. Parallels aside, I feel like Aziraphale’s reaction to Maggie’s tears is an interesting one - I mean, has he really never seen a human crying in his 6000 years of existence on Earth? The realisation that dawns on his face when Maggie has to guide him through the etiquette of the situation suggests that this really is new territory for him:

His face just keeps giving his inner thoughts away, because there’s quite the look of surprise on his face when he hears that Maggie and Nina were locked in the coffee shop together the previous evening, so Crowley has clearly forgotten to mention that particular faux pas to him (or perhaps “forgotten” might be more appropriate). And look how delighted he is when he finds out Maggie is in love:

Slight plot hole here, and we’re going back to season 1 again to see it.

AZIRAPHALE: There’s a very peculiar feeling to this whole area. I’m astonished you can’t feel it. […] Love. Flashes of love.

It’s a long way back I’ll grant you, but there was a time (in the second episode of the first season) that we were made to believe that Aziraphale could feel love. So why can’t he feel Maggie’s love for Nina? Perhaps she hides it too well? Or maybe she’s not really in love, or if she is, it isn’t that strong? Alternatively, does it have something to do with Aziraphale’s angelic abilities? Happy with his personal circumstances as they are, has he become less attuned to them? Or maybe even less able to use them? I don’t really have a feeling about which of these theories (if any of them) is most likely, and I’d be happy to hear any others that people are harbouring.

I also find Aziraphale’s reaction to Maggie’s request for advice pretty interesting.

MAGGIE: What am I going to do? AZIRAPHALE: (stammering) Can I get back to you on that? I think, right now, I’m a bit out of miracles.

Chill out mate, the poor woman just asked you for some advice, not for you to interfere using your Heavenly abilities (that she knows nothing about). I mean, I get that he doesn’t want to perform any miracles because he doesn’t want to attract any attention. Perhaps it says something about the way he deals with problems, believing that performing miracles is the only way that he can offer a solution? And that wording isn’t exactly the most empathetic thing to say to someone asking for love advice is it? I mean, if you take away the fact that he is referring to miracles in a very literal sense, what you’re left with is a sentence that sounds an awful lot like “you’d need a miracle to sort all of this stuff out, you’re in a right mess”. At least he manages to sound like he wants to help I suppose.

The address we see for The Resurrectionist pub is an interesting one, particularly in the context of this particular episode:

So let me just point out - “Goat Gate” is a fictional address in Edinburgh. Not just that number on Goat Gate, that entire street doesn’t exist at all. Which makes the choice of it being Goat Gate interesting, given how important goats will become later in this episode. I feel like there might be another subtextual link given the goat as a symbol of Satan, making the “66” part of the address pretty significant. I think this might be a rabbit hole that would be all too easy to fall down, so if anyone wants to take that and disappear into the void, please be my guest - for this blog, let’s just say it’s something of interest and move on.

Last item of note for this scene - I find Aziraphale’s reaction to the announcement of the arrival of the angels on Earth uncomfortably out of character. Sort of. Not that he reacts that way as such; I find his panic pretty appropriate. It’s the fact that he openly tells Maggie “they’re here”, and then goes on to ask he if she can “feel them”. She’s human. Why would she be aware of their presence? And why would he involve her in his distress? It would have felt much more appropriate to me if he had just bumbled some excuse and left in a hurry, there’s just something about these couple of lines of dialogue that don’t sit right with me.

Quick little point - how much of the panic on Aziraphale’s face when Jim declares it time for the bookselling to begin is because of the Gabriel situation and how much because Jim is actually trying to sell books?

I’m sure narratively it’s all the former, I just love the idea of the latter because we all know just how much worse that would have made everything; first the archangels arrive and now somebody has SOLD A BOOK. We wouldn’t need Armageddon or a Second Coming, this would probably have been the end of Aziraphale’s world right there.

There are a couple of things to note about this exchange regarding the “plume”. Firstly, Aziraphale doesn’t seem to be aware that there is such a thing. It makes me wonder what methods he thought Heaven were employing to detect miracles in the first place (after all, we know he’s been reprimanded for being too frivolous with them from his comments in 1793), and clearly he’s never been privy to witnessing one of these plumes in the past. Secondly, he appears to be surprised at the strength of the miracle that was performed. This stands to reason if we take the story as read - that he and Crowley have performed a miracle together. It would certainly be a surprise to know that the two of them could perform a miracle of such strength when performing it together. And that little scoff shows Seraqael certainly doesn’t believe that Aziraphale is capable of casting such a miracle himself. These last two observations do mean my meta about Crowley not doing anything takes a bit of a knock. Unless you include the possibility that Gabriel’s power was somehow tapped into and used during that miracle casting (which I do still consider a possibility, given the colour of the plume matches Gabriel’s archangel eyes). What is absolutely clear about this interaction between the Heavenly entities is that none of the visitors believe Aziraphale had anything to do with the miracle - they believe Gabriel did it and that Aziraphale is hiding him.

Easter egg time! Feels like it’s been a long time since we had one of these.

Another one of Terry’s books making it into the show, this time it’s the first in his Discworld series. I’m going to put my hands up here and admit to never having read them. I have tried, more than once, reading The Colour of Magic, but for whatever reason I just can’t get into it. Don’t hate me.

I feel like there is a special layer of lying being employed by Aziraphale in his rebuttals here - he’s just been told that the miracle that was cast was of phenomenal power. His response? “Oh yeah, I did that so a couple of humans could fall in love”. And it’s so obvious that he knows he’s on really thin ice here - we have some really classic mannerisms that tell us Aziraphale is panicking HARD. The stuttering, the exaggerated hand gestures. I’m pretty sure that if he didn’t have a record in one of his hands, they would be wringing away like the clappers - you can actually see that he repeatedly tries to bring his hands together but that darn EP just keeps getting in the way. Quick note: I find it interesting that he feels the need to explain to his guests what love is - whether this relates to what I was pondering earlier and the abilities of angels to feel love, or whether it’s more an indication of his personal opinion of their abilities as compassionate beings I couldn’t say.

Another Easter egg (sort of):

Alright, so this is probably less of an Easter egg, more of an interesting morsel of information. “The Wicked Bible” is the book that Jim uses to try and kill the fly with. This is a real edition of the Bible, so called because of an unfortunate typo that states that the seventh commandment reads “Thou shalt commit adultery”. I don’t know that it has any subtextual meaning to the storyline, but it’s a cool little piece of religious trivia - shelve it away, it might come up in a pub quiz one day 😉

Whatever you believe about the miracle that was performed to hide Gabriel, it’s obvious that Aziraphale is far from convinced that it worked:

This is the face of an angel who is genuinely in fear of what’s about to happen. This expression actually got me to wondering how different Aziraphale’s reaction to the arrival of Michael et al is to Gabriel’s arrival. For a start, he tries to send Gabriel away, yet this three he invites in, without any sort of prompt or threat. He even has a very compelling reason for not allowing Michael, Uriel, and Seraqual into the bookshop at this point - Jim. I made the argument that Aziraphale didn’t really seem to be frightened of Gabriel when he arrived in episode one - I’m of a mind that his contrasting behaviour with the three visiting angels in this episode backs that up.

I’m going to end this part (and yes, this has been a little on the short side for me, but we have THAT pub scene coming up, and I just don’t think I can tag it on to the end of what I’ve already done in this section) with a little chapeau, and this one goes to the lovely Mickey Ralph, who I understand is responsible for the article we see Aziraphale reading. Here’s the original:

As I understand it, Mickey was responsible for the translation of that article into multiple different languages, using the translations to produce authentic-looking newspaper articles from other counties. There’s a little write up that you can read about it here. I don’t think I’ve talked about my love of the level of attention to detail specifically in this season just yet, but this tiny detail absolutely reminded me of it. These newspaper articles must have taken a fair amount of time and effort to produce, are only seen for a fraction of a second, and yet make the scene feel so much richer for their presence. Amazing work Mickey, thank you.

And on that positive note, I’ll wrap this part up. I had hoped to get to the next chunk of the minisode but I should know better than that by now, shouldn’t I? As always, questions, comments, discussion: always welcome. See you for the next one! 😊

[kittick-art]

Wahoo, time for another Animatic Deep Dive!

I did this on twitter after my jeanmarco animatic came out last year, and I wanted to do something similar for the Royai animatic! This post will include HD stills from the animatic, as well as some nerdy insight into some shot choices and such, bc I need an outlet to geek out about it. Everything is under the ‘keep reading’ break! :]

Ok to start off, I wanted to show some behind-the-scenes stuff, including my first thumbnails I drew in my sketchbook, as well as part of the shot sheet that kept me organized (and sane) throughout the animatic.

Also, fun fact is that I'm primarily a 3D animator, so I used that knowledge to sculpt a rough version of Mustang's office for the final shot :]

Ok so now for actual stills...starting with one of my FAVORITE sequences to draw, which I have dubbed 'the scrolling bit.'

And a fun little composition tidbit about this sequence is that I tried to show the passage of time through Roy & Riza's placement in the shots. So in order, they progressively go from the right of the screen to the left. It was actually a really last-minute decision, bc originally I had two different shots (see below) which got scrapped in order to do that silly compositional thing. I think it was a worthy sacrifice because that drawing of Black Hayate on Mustang's head was just so fun to draw.

OKAY, now I want to move onto my favorite part of any animatic, which is the pretentious stuff about 'character placement' and "the deeper meaning." Blah blah, all that art-school kind of stuff that you'd hear in some film analysis class.

It's not intentional whatsoever, but I realized after the animatic was finished that Hawkeye is almost always on Mustang's righthand side, other than a select few times when he's the one supporting her. Feel free to look into that if you'd like, but just know it was not intentional and isn't consistent 100% of the time.

What was intentional, however, were these 4 shots, and specifically the placement of Mustang & Hawkeye within them:

These 2 sequences are meant to be direct parallels to each other, in everything including how Mustang turns to Hawkeye, and Hawkeye is already facing him. They were also my favorite shots to animate, especially with Riza coming out of her salute. Seeing them in the final animatic almost made me tear up, ngl. They're just so dang in love!

Finally, the last part that holds some artsy deeper meaning is a sequence I actually shared a long long time ago. I've dubbed it the 'spotlight section' bc idk how else to describe it.

Back when I teased this sequence, I alluded to some "deeper meaning" behind the use of red in the tags. And while the use of red is a pivotal thing throughout the entire animatic, it's most important here. It starts on Hawkeye's back, then transfers to Mustang's glove, and finally goes back to Hawkeye as her blood. Basically what I was trying to get at was something about consequences, and where flame alchemy has led them. In some way or another, Riza's decision to show Roy her tattoo ended up leading to her own (near) demise. So the red was supposed to show that transfer of consequence, if that makes sense.

ANYWAYS. Enough of me rambling. Thank you for reading if you somehow made it this far. All the love on this animatic - even since I first started teasing it back in November - has been insane to me. I still feel like I can't wrap my head around it. I'll leave you all with one last sketch from when I first started making the animatic. Have a good night, everyone!

[k-kizkhalifa]

The Little Office With The Entrance In The Back

Summary: Harry and Draco are married and living in a small town in Muggle UK called Oldham, and Draco is bored of their Muggle life but, not because it is a Muggle life. He understands why they're living a Muggle life, but no because he is missing something he didn't know he was missing until he came across a very specific genre of movies and books and media, and Harry was just happy to see him smiling again. Tags: CW Mention of Murder, CW Mention of Blood, Cross dressing - exploration (at the moment), Implied slash fiction, a little bit of unhinged!Draco, little bit of a toxic-relationship, humor(?)*, Hitman!AU, a little angst in there (I KNOW BUT IT IS ME WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.) A/N: Y'all I made a mention, @klinefelterrible gave me life, and I probably did something else entirely. Anyway, this may be a one-off, or it may be a collab project (hopeful). (Title is long, will probably change.) ~ kiz

*I'm not as funny as Terrible, so like forgive that and expect some dialogue changes if they still want to work with me on this collab after reading this intro/background. Eh.

Introduction:

The Muggle way of life was everything Harry remembered, but didn’t necessarily miss during his years of learning how to navigate the Wizarding World, but he couldn’t deny there were times it was easier in the Muggle world. For one? He was just Harry -- or Potter, to Draco; but he was just Harry to everyone else.

Harry who now worked down the road in the little office with the only entrance in the back. Yes, that Harry, still, just Harry. Harry in the dark cloak, and sometimes seen with a little wooden stick. No one knew though just where he came from. How he came about. One day, just there, setting up shop, with his husband. 

Draco drew much more attention, at least when they first arrived in Oldham. The beautiful white-blonde haired man with those intense gray eyes and a sneer at most anyone who ever dared to approach. It wasn’t so much that Draco didn’t want to get to know anyone, he just didn’t. He was a little cautious, a little on the safer side. He gave up everything for them to be where they were. Harry away from the spotlight, and Draco maybe a bit on the run. Harry wasn’t blind to it, the way over the last few months life seemed to disinterest his husband. 

Draco had tried everything he could to understand the Muggle ways, so much so that they didn’t use magic much anymore, and then Draco found movies. He had always been one to read, he really enjoyed it and oftentimes would tear through books in little to no time, Harry wondered how he even enjoyed them with the rate at which he consumed them. 

Then the movies. 

Pulp Fiction, though a few years old at the time Draco found it, had captivated him. Paired with another movie he had watched more times than Harry could even attempt to count, something called Fallen Angels. Draco had quickly become so interested in these stories and everything he could find into this newly introduced way of the world of crime, murder, on-the-run-.... Harry tried to be patient and understanding that this was something that Draco felt he could resonate with. That this life was something he understood, in some way. Though, he wasn’t sure he had ever actually killed someone, but he knew in all actuality there were parallels. 

He wasn’t blind to that. 

Harry was not blind at all to those simple facts. At all.

As they stood there, Draco in an outfit Harry had never seen him in before. Some ridiculous retaliation to a comment Harry made in passing as they walked by a shop, a few days ago. A dark gray dress with a slit up the side clinging to the model mannequin and a comment about how good Draco could wear that same exact outfit. 

Harry would like to say he wasn’t shocked when Draco Malfoy walked out of their shared bedroom in the dress, and a pair of rather tall heels, but no, Harry had nearly fainted at the sight. Barely allowing Draco out of the house, and only doing so when the man growled out that he looked too good to be stuck inside for the night when they already had plans. 

Plans at the queer bar in uptown. They had never been, but Draco was all about trying new things since Pulp Fiction and Fallen Angels and whatever those new books he was consuming at lightning speed were suggesting in his mind. 

Harry still didn’t understand how it went from just movies and books and any other media he could get his hands on at the idea of being a criminal murdering people...to where they were now.

Right, right. Back to it. Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter standing there on an empty sidestreet around 1:45 AM in Oldham. 

“What the fuck, Draco?” Harry breathed out as he stared down at the lifeless body laying in the street before them. 

“I told you I would do it.” 

“YO-- You can’t just go around-- Draco!” Harry whipped around in shock, staring at his husband. “You killed him.” 

“I told you three drinks ago if he asked you to dance again, I would kill him.” Draco said simply, “he asked you to dance again.” Harry blinked, glancing back at the body before him. He had seen Death before, sure, of course, he had... well, but this was different. This was Draco Malfoy killing someone, more importantly this was his spouse killing someone. 

“Draco.” Harry took a breath, tilting his head back and looking up towards the dark sky, “you have to be fucking kidding me right now.” 

Draco extended a leg, nudging the arm of the man with his heel before making a face, “he got blood on my dress.” 

“You don’t fucking say?” Harry, still focused on the sky, snapped at him. “You sliced him from ear to ear.”

Draco didn’t answer, not for a moment, and Harry didn’t look. He couldn’t. Not right then. Because his only thought was, he is fucking insane. Harry had seen it, the moment it happened, the smile that flashed across his face as lunged forward quick and nimble, even in the high heels. The smile reflected the feeling on when a joint pops -- you know the tension in your ankle as you stretch and roll it slowly and pop there it was, the relief. That’s what the smile told Harry. The relief that Draco seemed to be searching for. 

“Are you mad?” 

“I’m not ecstatic, if that is what you are asking, Draco.” 

“No, I-- Look, I mean you’re either going to help me with this, or you’re not.” 

“Or I’m not.” Harry said evenly, giving him a once over, “this is your fault.” 

“Mm,” Draco nodded, “my fault?” 

“You’re the one that did it, right? Your fault.” 

Draco sighed, and gave a look around, before pulling out his wand. He gave himself a once over clean, very focused on the blood staining his dress before stowing his wand again. Harry fought back a laugh, despite everything that had happened over the last ten minutes, because lord knew he didn’t check his surroundings before cutting the man’s throat. My husband is insane, Harry thought while watching him clean himself off, I mean, absolutely insane. 

“SO,” Draco said suddenly, “at least carry him for me, I’ll put... your jacket over him.” 

Harry shook his head, “I am not dealing with this.” 

Draco narrowed his eyes, offering a pout, “you’re just going to leave me out here, alone, on a Saturday night?” 

“I think you can handle yourself,” Harry rolled his eyes. 

“Potter!” He whined, stomping his foot, the sound of his heel clacking loudly on the pavement. Harry flushed in excitement, his body responding and for once he might have hated himself for that response. “I’ll do that thing you like.” 

“Which thing?” 

“You know, the one I don’t.” 

“I don’t think there is anything you don’t like, Draco.” 

Draco sighed, and folded his arms, “just help me.” 

“This is it,” Harry jerked his jacket off, tossed it over the bleeding, dead man on the ground and bent to heave him up. “Don’t talk to a single fucking person.” 

“There is no one out here,” Draco answered, happy as Harry turned and led them down the road, “where are we going?” 

“How am I supposed to know? You tell me, you’ve been studying for this, apparently.” 

Draco laughed, Harry glared. “Sorry, sorry,” the blonde said softly, “I... it just happened Potter.” 

“No, you told me you wanted to do it and then you did it. That is a planned murder.” 

Draco glanced around, spotting off to the left 10 or so dumpsters behind a locked gated fence. “Over there.” 

“Someone will find him,” Harry said, though he followed as instructed. He was always very good at listening to instructions. 

“I mean we’re Wizards aren’t we? We can get all our evidence gone.” Draco said, his wand out again, and Harry watched the gate open and they stepped in. “Oh gods.” The blonde groaned, covering his nose, “hurry up!” 

Harry fought the urge to give him a look of annoyance, and he heaved the man off his shoulder to the ground near his feet, peeling his coat from his bloody upper body. “Do your magic then, Draco.” He said with a wave, stepping back slowly, to give Draco some space. 

“Who is there?” 

Harry froze, and Draco stood there, looking over his shoulder as he slipped his wand away. “I saw you open the gate!” The voice met them again, before light flooded them and the sound of a gun cocking.

“We were just... uh, having some fun.” Draco said, peering around Harry. “Right, honey?” 

“Yeah, fun.” Harry nodded and turned around slowly, arms raised. “Just fun.” 

“In the tras-- is that a body?” 

“No.” “Yes.” 

Harry fought back a groan, fuck! Draco gave them a very passive look. 

“You killed that man, and brought him here to dump?” 

Neither answered that time. 

“Stay,” he said, and Harry watched as he gave a wave to someone off to the side. “I got someone for you to meet.”

Draco glanced over at Harry with that smile. That relieved smile on his face. That the joint just popped smile right across his beautiful alabaster face, his gray eyes bright and playful for the first time in months, hell maybe even a year. Harry didn’t know, but it had been so long since he had seen his husband like that, since he had seen his Draco like that. He felt his heart stutter, love filling him all over again. 

“Good thing we’re Wizards, eh?” Draco winked.  

After the ‘someone for them to meet’, a guy named Darian, talked them into employment, really it wasn’t like Draco needed much convincing. It was Harry that needed it the most,  and love, some of the most cliche shit he could ever think of, won over in the end. 

Or, maybe it was the relief that Draco felt. The playfulness in his eyes, the smile on his lips. Harry lost enough more than once to the world, he wasn’t in the habit do it anymore. He wanted Draco safe, and he wanted to see that smile. No matter the cause of it. 

So, he was Harry. Just Harry, that Harry.

In some Muggle town with the little office and the only entrance to the building in the back walking in with his dark cloak, and two cups of coffee, greeting his husband with a kiss and a good morning as he drummed his long black nails on the desk while on the phone, using some codeword for money, and some codeword for killing, and come codeword for they’d be available that evening to check it out.

[dashawns-world]

Been a little bit since my last post! Sorry this one isn’t going to be a very long one either. I’ve been very busy with my new job and personal work, but I did want to talk about three movies I saw recently! And while I won’t spoil anything major, these thoughts may cloud your judgement going into the films, so I recommend avoiding if you wanna go in with an open mind. Anyway, let’s go:

BARBIE

Barbie was such a fun film! It made me laugh out loud way more than it had any right to. Seriously, there’s a joke Will Ferrel nonchalantly says that I can’t get outta my mind. I had tears in my eyes. Not gonna spoil it but if you know, you know. The themes are quite existential, but in a playful enough way that I didn’t leave it thinking “bummer…” If I had to complain about anything, it’s that Barbie was kinda inactive for the final act. To the point where I was asking myself “what is Barbie doing?” Maybe you’d see what I meant if you watched it. (Or disagree) I still had a good time tho.

It’s worth a watch!

TMNT MUTANT MAYHEM

This is my favorite TMNT movie now, and my favorite personification of the turtles. The art direction, emotional stuff, comedy, action, and characters were all on point. There’s a moment where Leo has a heart to heart with his bros that didn’t feel as earned as it could’ve (on first viewing) I only bring this up because it’s a thought I had as the scene was going on. Where as everything else in the movie felt organic and original, this scene felt like a tried and true motivational speech beat that these types of movies generally have. If that makes sense? I’d have to watch it again to be sure. And thankfully, I’d gladly watch it again because I had such a good time.

Watch itttt!!

THEY CLONED TYRONE

This is a Netflix original and boy was I blown away. I swear, John Boyega is on Leo DiCaprio’s level of changing into a whole new person for his roles. I’m never sure who I’m gonna get. He really killed it. I’m not gonna spoil this movie and honestly if you go in blind it might be better. The directing is really REALLY good, too. There’s a scene that I really loved, where we’re with a character for an extended amount of time in one shot. This is to build tension for a pretty crazy moment afterwards and it was VERY well done. These types of scenes are so cool to me because I’m used to cutting often in animation. But in live action, these scenes are really good for getting inside a character’s head. I really can’t explain without spoiling but if you’ve watched the movie, I thiiiiink you know the scene I’m talking about.

Anyway, the cast, direction, and plot are all top notch. Jamie Foxx is hilarious as always, and Teyonah Parris gets to shine in this film. I loved her character in this compared to Wandavision where her talent was wasted.

I think this movie is perfect for the culture, but if you’re not typically into movies with a majority black cast that deals with African American issues (in a really good way) then you probably won’t be impressed. Your loss, though! I believe that this, alongside movies like The Woman King, The Harder They Fall, and Get Out are examples of movies that have clear parallels to others in their respective genres, but add a twist that I appreciate because of their characters and writing. I used to be stuck with hood movies, but now I get hood mystery movies. I love it, is all I’m saying.

Anyway, I know what the next deep dive is gonna be. I just need to set aside free time to write it up. I’ve been wanting to do a write up about beat em up games. My favorite one, in particular. I want to analyze what I like about it, and what I don’t. Might do more drawing to go alongside it too. Anybody remember Advance Guardian Heroes?? Brace yourselves, lol.

[sirensea14]

How did you actually come up with mayhem x not cup? It seems like such a weird yet canon ship I love it I want to learn more

Oh i actually had art of that ship waaaaay back before posting on tumblr

Made this around the middle of last year. And then i posted this when i first started tumblr (you long-time fishies/followers out there who was with me with my first post might remember this lol)

From all i could remember from my past-self's thoughts, Not-Cup was, from what i imagined, a hollow and black eyed version of Cuphead that appeared in real Cuphead's dream in the labyrinth. Which is waaaaay different cuz in the canon, its actually just the usual cuphead that we know, except evil with toungue. I was wondering why he was in the Tear—was he an anomaly like mayhem? Was he an illusion like ava and black hat? Or is he smth else like i dunno, a future cuphead that is potentially possessed by an ink machine part? (As you guys know, when a character gets possessed by this shit, their eyes turn black like Cog!Holly, Cog!Cala and Instument!boris and sarah. Except the brush with mick tho, i dunno why is that)

But anyway, this question gets unanswered leaving me to headcanon that he is an "actual" character and not just a manifestation or illusion of the labyrinth. Just like Mayhem who we thought was an illusion till she's revealed to be an actual character in the series. (This question regarding Not-Cup is still unanswered lol, regardless of an answer, im still shipping them)

Now, onto the actual question, well i dunno if u ship cuphead and holly (i do) and if you'd notice, witchbrew is (obviously) a parallel of the colly ship. Colly are in the hero side, while Witchbrew is on the villain side. I would love to see an actual couple be villains, it sucks that theyre always single XD. If Cuphead had his Holly, then why cant Mayhem have her Not-Cup, hm? Nah-uh aint gonna let that happen

And then boom! This shit--i mean ship is created. Lol i dunno if this makes any sense 😭

Also this ship has ties with my theory regarding of Mayhem's origin and if there will be a canon origin of her story thats gonna be different from my theory, well, lets say this might just be a small fanon ship that randomly came outta nowhere XD

Regarding their origin love story, it starts with my theory that Mayhem is the future Holly that is fully possessed by the cog when the questers went to the desert (forgot its name) to finf the machine. Cuphead goes desperate and asks help from a part? (Eh, i really havent thought about how cuphead got possessed lol) And then he teams up with Mayhem.

The problem is, Cuphead did it out of love, regrets (regret that he didnt manage to save holly even tho it wasnt his fault), and guilt. While Mayhem got possessed by the Cog due to her previous connection to it that got stronger. So i this ship, its painfully one-sided. Painful truth.

But when interacting, they act a bit like a bickering couple, Mayhem being the terrifying teaser she is while Not-cup is the sarcastic serious one. Tho he sometimes act like the actual Cuphead Dish from the questers. They may also act a bit like the duplicates of Colly in appearance.

Not-Cup likes to help Mayhem mess with the Questers as they try to hunt down and restore the duo.

And as for Chaos the Cat... I dunno where the fuck does he fit in lol

From what i remember i think i had a digital version of Mayhem's Tango? Its burried deep down in the ocean... Btw Mayhem's tango was inspired by the song "You'll be mine (Alice's Tango)" by Chi-Chi. I also had other songs that i associate mayhem with (mostly its just bendy fansongs lol) but i dunno if u wanna hear abt it :/

Welp i think thats it? I covered up all about teh WitchBrew origins. Send me another ask if my explanation's not clear XD

Im also glad that you love this silly lil ship i made! It was odd seeing someone like it when i expected no to actually like it XD (tho i dunno out there if anyone actually paid attention to my mayhem x not-cup ship way back then cuz it was a bit random) if u want more infos abt them, go on and ask! I have a bit more from store actually... Hidden for so long... (/jk, its just for 2 years lol)

Stars i feel like ive made an essay...

[stackslip]

details of last night's match that still haunt me

at the very start right after the ring announcements are done and the ref grabs the belt, cody stares at the belt with incredible intensity and fervour while roman has his back to the belt, joking with paul. cody wanted it so bad and roman just took it for granted he'd have it back. he didn't even value it anymore he just considered it his property. really lovely little bit of storytelling

roman started off cocky as he's ever been, and gradually becoming more and more unnerved as the match went on, scratching his head in his nervous tic way and his smile going from a confident smirk to a hollow angered rictus

roman stealing the cross-rhodes and then mocking it as a terrible move that could never finish anybody off, only for cody to finish him off with it

likewise, cody stealing the spear right after was so fucking fun

a lot of repeating of last year's moves but in a twisted parallel way that made it clear both remembered the previous match and had learned from it

jey fucking mustafa'ing jimmy right off the balustrade. goodbye

seth being so badly injured when he shows up at all, and having done the theme/costume because he KNEW it would be irresistible bait to roman. calling himself cody's shield a month ago, and essentially showin up just to be bait for roman. like he wasn't planning on attacking roman, he was planning on roman seeing him in that old costume and seeing the chair, and being unable to resist the urge to get seth. bet won. roman looks back at cody, then seth, and makes his choice with no hesitation

cody doing the exact same three cross-rhodes that almost ended last year's match before it got interrupted by solo, this time uninterrupted.

roman just clinging to him and not moving out of it--he knows it's over. he knew the moment he saw seth that if he hit his ex instead of cody it would be over. he knew and did it anyway.

samantha choking on tears as she announced cody's victory

the ref giving the belt to the rock as roman crawls away pathetically, and the rock grabbing that belt and glaring at roman like he was about to whip him right there and then

[justaderivative]

YOURE BACK OH MY GOD HIIIIII!,!!! HAVENT SEEN U IN LIKE A MONTH I HOPE YOURE OK!! WELCOME BACK WELCOME BACK RAAAAAA!!!!! First off I’m glad you’re back, I thought maybe you died or something (not really but I was getting a wee bit concerned) and YAY YIPPEE!!! Second of all you are NOT getting a bad grade in mutual (something both normal to want and possible to achieve ofc) and you are never late to my birthday parties (my tumblr posts). I absolutely love your commentary on the whole bloodlust art piece I did!! I’m gonna be so honest with you rn ok but I don’t really know the Hades and Persephone myth ok. Or all that much about symbolism and any parallels to it I might’ve made with that and the pomegranate. I am a basic bitch (i adore fruits as symbolism for devouring and cannibalism and ofc homoeroticism) and a bit of a poser (never read abt pomegranate lore I just put it in there bc I like eating pomegranates bc it makes me feel like I’m getting covered in blood and mauling and ripping and tearing to fulfill my base maladaptive destructive urges)

anyways I’m glad you like the playlist!! I also am working on ANOTHER art piece of Emil and Wolf rn (my blorbos my scrunklies my beloveds) but this one is more about wildflowers and summer fruit and summer. I ALSO have a Spotify playlist for that (think it’s called fruit symbolism or something I don’t remember) that’s basically the soundtrack for it. I ❤️ making playlists for my big art pieces wahoo

HI HI HI I'M FINE!!! I'm so sorry for disappearing off the face of the earth but HEY I'M BACK WOOOO. I am so glad that I'm not getting a bad grade in mutual (which is normal to want and possible to achieve), though I'll try to make up for the lost time nonetheless.

ALSO you are absolutely right to think of fruits as symbolism for devouring and cannibalism - BUT it is so funny to me to see that even though you didn't mean it, I can so vividly see the symbolism there. The best kind of symbolism is one that is not meant to be there, imo.

ANOTHER ART PIECE?!? I am clapping and cheering like a madman (and I'm NOT going to be late this time) Also, I think it's downright criminal of you to say that but not share the playlist - I wanna listen to the songs and admire your art!

[deedjre]

Day 3 - Old OC(s) ! uhm i made these three originally pre 2018 (all at the same time), but I did reboot their story sometime in this decade before redesigning them and, i guess, also designing them lmao. before then only iam (ghosty girl with the long hair) had actully ever been drawn, though sindy i've always had the idea of a blue dress and pigtails. originally they were 6-10 years old and existed in short stories i would write. they also have one superpower each. but since i grew up and they never had a real like continuity or anything, when i decided to use them again i aged them up to highschool and using my memory of this longer story i attempted once, gave them a falling out in their friendship and decided to write about how they all die.

i wound up scrapping the death thing later but it's incredibly funny that i immediately was like "how about i kill them" and tht stuck around for a while until i looked at sindy's death and thought i could make like a nice theme out of her NOT dying. so. yeah.

(prompt list) character refs and more on the characters below!

Sindy was always the youngest and bubbliest one of the trio. her power is foresight, though originally she could only see up to a few seconds into the future. I upgraded this to a week and came up with her seeing her own death and being able to do nothing to stop it. which is actually a really neat allegory in hindsight considering how she died. take a gander at her death. For her younger design she's always looked something like that. gave her mary janes bc those were like the only shoes i could wear as a kid. For her older design... yeah idk i just wanted to keep her more childish still with an increase of black spread throughout. yknow. for depression.

amelia is the oldest* and most mature of the group. artificially mature. her power is teleportation! i don't recall any drawbacks but it was probably that she could only teleport short distances at a time. but she like. just did chain teleporting to get around this lmao. sounds like something i would design. originally she died by earthquake. like she was hit by a rock just as she was teleporting out and then she was just an electric current. pretty neat idea. For her younger design... Amelia initially had no design. just long brown hair. I think she was designed to be more modest in order to reflect her personality, though? I'm not sure. I like giving characters boots. For her older design i thought "rebellious teen". one of the "popular girls". with certified angry depression. i probably should've mentioned that i was following the bad end version of that longer story.

iam (originally a name i made the fuck up pronounced "i am" but i guess you can pronounce it how it's actually pronounced. bc it IS a real name) is intended to be an age between sindy and amelia but she's part ghost. so. anyway her power is that when she dies, she respawns as a ghost in a cave her first incarnation died in. and after a while of being a ghost, she respawns there again, fully alive. kinda like when you bubble a friend in co-op mario. but worse. her personality was very feisty and temperamental. because she was a kid. she mellows out after her imaginary boyfriend got banished to a parallel dimension. actually no she doesn't she gets the tears depression. they all get different depression. gotta catch em all? she didnt have a specific death. actually her death is old age bc thats the only way she can die and then get reincarnated. i decided that at some point.

for her younger design i always just drew her looking like that. not the scars, maybe, but she had raggedy clothes and frizzled hair. because she just keeps dying. it's like sport for her. for her older design... yeah no that's just a natural evolution no notes. actually 1 note. i think it would've been neat to keep it relatively the same design and have her not really age when a ghost. but that's a bit too tragic and allegorical of grief for me right now

[brotherdusk]

@occasionalmaven replied to your post “the dresden files tv show will have you tearing...”:

As someone who’s never read the books or seen the show… do you recommend waiting to watch the show until I’ve read some of the books? 

hi! ​as someone who was in the same boat at the start of the year, and has since watched the entire show and read two of the books: not at all, you can jump into the show straight away if you want to! Dresden took the basic premise of the books and directly adapted a couple of them into episodes, but it mostly does its own thing with the characters and world.

personally I read Storm Front, the first book in the series, in parallel with the show. imo it was valuable in terms of adding depth to the worldbuilding (especially the magic system and its limitations) that the show couldn't fully explore within its 45 minute time slot. the tv version of Storm Front is a bit weird anyway, as it was cobbled together from the pilot episode and isn't representative of the show's final direction at all. I was actually advised to skip it entirely on my first run-through of the show - it doesn't fit tonally and interferes with the flow of the overall narrative. so I was able to safely take in both the book and show in parallel as I knew that the show wouldn't spoil the book's ending for me! it was a convoluted but cool way to enter the Dresdenverse 😭👍

but it's absolutely not necessary to read the books, especially as the show alters most things and introduces new overarching plots that are really unexpectedly good. it also expands upon certain book characters so drastically and so well that it's hard to believe that the version in the show is basically a tv original. Bob the Skull is kind of Dresden tv's version of the Cleonic Dynasty haha, a lot of people who don't like the show still think tv!Bob was a great idea. honestly the whole adaptation style is similar to Foundation - it's cool to have the extra context of the book, but it veers so far from the original stories so often that it's not as much of a help as you'd expect.

but yes please give this show a try! I compare it a lot to mid-2000s Doctor Who for a reason - it can be kinda goofy in tone and the CGI was made on a budget of approximately $3, but it's got so much heart and goes from "wacky supernatural romp" to "unexpectedly emotional character study" when you least expect. it's also very pretty to look at - it's shot and lit shockingly well for the budget, and everyone involved including the set dressers and cinematographers are clearly giving it everything. it's 12 episodes in a monster-of-the-week format so it's very zippy, and the acting is also fantastic across the board. obviously I'm biased as hell and think the Paul Blackthorne - Terrence Mann shared braincell double act is the best thing ever and only gets better as the series progresses. but even the actors who show up for a single episode are excellent! the one-off characters in episodes 3, 9 and 10 are among my favourites :3

[1tsjusty0u]

hm. random things wreath likes perhaps

BWAH ALRIGHT!!

pre cal. not much!! he likes fiction books and sweet foods but other than that he cant think of anything. he probably does like more things though its just a deep-seated issue for him. for specifics: they always like pumpkin pie its his favorite, and. yeah. finnish desserts they also make due to hateno and he’d also like those a lot! piparkakku and pannukakku (gingerbread and pancakes) he likes as well. uhm. i should note i am not finnish so any finlanders out there if i butcher anything. im sorry…. anyways! fiction books arent just legends of past games for clarification he’d like ones that really dont have anything to do with tloz. if chicory a colorful tale was an ip/book in this universe they’d like it a bit!! also horse fact magazines and cookbooks. he loves those and never reads them after he gets them <3

post cal ..!! you know if this was like. my interpretation of normal botw i’d say the issue from the above paragraph would get better! but uh!! here it actually gets worse. they still love pumpkin pie and food and horse facts however. its getting harder and harder for him to remember what he does genuinely like, + things he Would like start to get stale or dont feel fun anymore like. for example horse facts again. he’ll always like food but other than that he’d have trouble naming most other things. it all just Exists to him. unfortunately going outside does Not fix him no matter how beautiful and wondrous it is

however i shant leave it at that….. while he might not be able to list it he still does like things sort of. he doesnt get excited about these but theyre just Nice to him and nothing more (also realistically he wouldnt care too much about these however pretend this is a parallel universe where this issue doesnt exist and he Would like these!! he still would in this one he just has problems anyways); seeing foxes!! he likes to greet them by spooking them. hes a fan of cooking ingredients and as much as totk sucks i Do like koyins quest (ignoring the romantic implications and the butchering of her character) i think he’d really Really like trading in nuts for milk and collecting them for the cow guy. he’d probably do it even with no milk incentive but thats just the cherry on top. also koyin and him could be slight friends a lot later into the story!! also he likes acorns and seeds and tries to break into them. also i made a whole list of sounds: clippity clops, footsteps on brick pavement, wood chopping board noises, WHEELS ON BRICK PAVEMENT, knife getting stuck in wood or swords etc, clinks of figurines (not hollow and probably like. made up of a gem rather than stone. Heavy clinks), pencil on thin paper on desk. more likes the feel rather than sound. and gear sounds/clicking like guardians. ALSO KEYBOARD NOISES. like the chunky ones i can get a video. zelda also likes these just more mechanical ones rather than soft thonks. also cooking pot noises we cannot forget about those. cutting paper super smoothly by just dragging scissors or a knife feels good and also knife tearing through fabric or specifically a bed mattress also feels good! the sound varies however. alsoalso this made me make a list for zelda because i think she’d more actively like sensory things

if they had a preference for weapons he’d love lynel weapons due to the sheer damage he just would never use them as to not break them. same with robbies ancient sword and other weapons that look cool or have ties to the champions. otherwise he just likes standard one handed sword weapons. pre cal him would honestly like lynel swords More and be really miffed about the master sword only doing 30 damage despite it being a holy sword and people regarding it as this great thing. like it has trouble defeating monsters ganon is going to kill him. i need to play sksw honestly i think he would like fi i just know next to nothing about her besides her being the sword. also he cant hear her Anyways!!